


i was a broken boy

by revan_yz



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reallly slow burn, Slow Burn, probably angsty with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revan_yz/pseuds/revan_yz
Summary: A/H fic set after TLG. Features Artemis suffering from PTSD early on. Will be eventual fluff, possibly smut, and definitely romace. The plot will become clear eventually. The plot is centred around Hartemis, so if that's not for you, then this fic probably isn't.
Relationships: Artemis Fowl II/Holly Short
Comments: 23
Kudos: 53





	1. he'll only listen to you

A/N: Hi, so before you read, some things you should know: this fic is set post TLG, but I haven’t yet read The Fowl Twins. I’ll try to keep it as canon as possible where it matters, but at the end of the day it’s a A/H fic.

It’s going to be a slow burn, probably with a lot of angst and pining. Hey, I like it.

Final point, is that the first few chapters will essentially be shorts, not having a cohesive story, but eventually I’ll start to bleed the later chapters together into a unified story. We’ll see how it goes.

********

Artemis Fowl II is by no means an ordinary human. He is far above average, having an IQ that far exceeds most experts, a mind that can create a plan for almost any situation in mere moments. He is, as he so humbly describes himself; exceptional. But he is still human, and not even the most intelligent of mankind can function normally without sleeping for over 72 hours. Not to say that Artemis hadn’t tried; he did have a knack for outdoing other people’s expectations, but even he cannot compete against nature. This is how Captain Holly Short of the LEP found him slumped over his desk, Armani suit creased from days of wear without rest, drool hanging from the corner of his mouth, head resting on his keyboard. 

Holly grins. Even she can’t pass up an opportunity like this. She wanders across the room, sliding her helmet off, and placing it on the bed, her wings joining soon after. It is not everyday that one gets the drop on Artemis Fowl, and by the Gods, she is going to make the most of it.

Holly drags a chair over, hops onto it and contemplates the best way to surprise the mud boy. She throws a momentary glance at his mop of hair, which is conspicuously longer than usual. It wasn’t like him to let himself go. She quickly brushes the thought aside, glee shining in her mismatched eyes.

Before she wakes him up, Holly looks up at his monitor, deciding that it was her duty, as an LEP officer, to make sure that Artemis wasn’t up to anything dastardly. Of course, she doesn’t actually think he is planning anything harmful, as he had taken a rather positive turn after he had returned. She waves her hand in front of the screen, utilising the fairy technology that Artemis had implemented into his own hardware (much to Foaly’s annoyance). Holly wasn’t much surprised by the blueprint for a solar farm appearing on the screen, hidden behind hundreds of error messages, doubtless from Artemis’ ungainly sleeping position. She didn’t get much time to comprehend this, as the error messages started to flood in again, causing the computer to beep in despair at the sheer number of false inputs.

Groggily, Artemis raises his head, bringing a hand to pinch his nose, squeezing his eyes shut from the harmful light. He opens and closes his eyes a few times, before noticing the elf sitting on his desk, legs swinging, eye’s sparkling.

“Holly?” he rasps, voice laden with sleep, rapidly blinking to try to clear the sleep from his vision.

“I see you’re as observant as ever mud boy.” she grins wickedly, revelling in his sleepy state. She tries to get a good look at his face, but he looks down. Is he avoiding her gaze? He hasn’t replied with a witty comment yet. Worry flies through her mind; is he feeling alright? He doesn’t seem it. This is Artemis Fowl she remembers; he’s probably been up all-night working on something or other. Regardless, doubt lingers in the back of her mind, _just in case_ she tells herself, _just in case_.

“I apologise for my state, I wasn’t expecting a visit at this time.” He finally says, making a futile attempt to smooth down his shirt. He finally glances up, and meets Holly’s eyes, but only for a second. That second, however, was long enough for Holly to see his face. He only just hears the slight gasp that she tries to hide. _Damn it._

Holly has seen Artemis on the brink of death more times than she can count. Hell, she’s seen him die before. The pale youth slumped in front of her, dark bags bigger than his actual eyes, days’ worth of stubble and grime on his face, does not look too dissimilar to the body she saw buried on a hill. But she doesn’t want to think about that.

“Artemis. Are you okay?”

The grin falls from her face, concern replacing the glee in her eyes. She quickly hops down from the desk, coming to stand in front of him. She searches for his eyes, but they’re off to the right, exploring the doorframe. He runs a hand through his hair, and Holly is surprised. That’s not a very Artemis-like action. That little shred of doubt that she hid moments ago comes surging to the forefront of her mind, etching lines of worry onto her face.

He sighs, exasperated. “Yes, I’m fine, no I obviously didn’t sleep well last night, yes, I’m working, no I will not stop working. Does that answer everything you wanted to ask captain?”

Holly raises an eyebrow. It’s been a long time since he’s called her captain. She got used to Artemis calling her Holly. She _prefers_ it. But, on the other hand, it does seem more like the Artemis she remembers.

“No, actually. I wanted to know how the plastic keyboard felt when you used it as a pillow.”

“It’s an aluminium-titanium composite, enhanced with technology from your very own LEP, Holly, it is not _plastic._ ”

She smiles despite herself. She does love this banter, and _Holly_ sounds so much better coming from him than _Captain_.

“Whatever mud boy. What are you working on now? Nothing nefarious, I hope. I’d hate to have to bring you in again.” The glint returns to her eyes. _Oh Gods_ how she missed their banter; Foaly wasn’t too bad at it, but he had been spending more time working from home recently, what with his growing relationship with Caballine, and Holly had been left to either work without interaction, or make do with the likes of Chix Verbil and Trouble. Not that Trouble was all bad, but things had turned away from their path of easy friendship that they had shared for so long, most likely because of the failed dates that she refused to mention to anyone.

“Unless you would call ‘creating a sustainable energy source that could be used anywhere on the surface’ nefarious, then I’m afraid you’ll leave empty handed.” A wry grin appeared on his face again – Holly was not the only one who enjoyed their conversations.

“I’m sure you’ve managed to fit in a money-making scheme somewhere into it. What else would you be doing it for?”

“Contrary to popular fairy belief, humans can change.”

“Artemis Fowl, change? I wait for the day that will happen.”

The easy smile that had taken up residence on his face drops, and he glances away again. An uneasy silence fills the space between them.

Holly leans back on the desk, distancing herself from him. She doesn’t like to pry, but there’s only so much discomfort you can see your friend go through before you intervene.

“Artemis -” she starts but stops when he looks up at her.

She has been on the receiving end of his piercing gaze before. It is not a pleasant experience. What’s more unpleasant though, is the look that he bestows on her then. One filled with pain, with desperation, with dread. She falls silent. What can she say to that?

“So, Captain. What brings you to the Manor?”

She curses inside. _Back to captain again._ She shakes her head. He’s being typical Artemis again; never letting anyone in.

“I had to complete the ritual, and I decided to stop in to see my friend. Is that too much to ask for?” She can’t help but spit the last few words out. She hadn’t had the best few days recently, from being singed with a fireball, to having to do fieldwork with Lilli Frond due to lack of officers, she had quite a but of pent up frustration, and only so much can be taken out on a punching bag.

Artemis sighs. He may have multiple doctorates in psychology and be backed up by tens of hours of study, but he is still new to the idea of friends. But he is not so inept that he doesn’t realise that he is being rude.

“My apologies Holly, I’ve -. I’ve had some problems with the designing of the solar farm, and it’s been putting me on edge recently.” He struggles to get out some of the words. Holly puts it down to exhaustion.

“Here, have a seat, we can talk. That’s what friends do right?” He smiles as he says the last part, wondering whether he’s just tired, or if he’s actually developing a sense of humour. He decides it’s the former.

She grimaces and flops down into the seat, her feet dangling inches above the floor. He notices this and flashes a small smile. She lets out a long groan and leans back.

“Gods, Artemis Fowl having friends. If you told me that 4, or is it 7, years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you.” She relaxes visibly, enjoying being able to talk to the young genius, despite his dishevelled state.

“That makes two of us.”

The room descends into the comfortable silence of friends enjoying each-others company. Holly closes her eyes and leans her head back, letting herself sink into the chair. Between her Section 8 duties and her LEP time, she hasn’t had much time to relax. She rarely lets herself sit down for more than half an hour unless its in a shuttle or to do paperwork.

He notices her slump and decides to use the opportunity to study her. It’s been months since they talked properly in person, as she was always too busy to stay for anything longer than just a hello. Her hair is slightly longer than she probably likes it, a fringe just starting to make itself known. Her face is less lined than Artemis remembers it, but maybe his memory was exaggerating the stress she had been under in the past year. But then again, he argues with himself, she had never been one to sit by and watch other people do the work for her.

They relax for some time, both enjoying the comfortable silence. Neither one wants to break the almost perfect peace, but Holly never had learned to be patient.

“Artemis.” She begins, more tentatively than he’s used to.

He sighs before opening his eyes. He knows it’s been coming, but it doesn’t mean he’s been looking forward to it.

He meets her eyes, and waves a hand in her general direction, a sign for her to carry on.

“Artemis. I am your friend. Even if you don’t want to tell me what’s going on, tell me if there’s anything I can do to help.”

She tries to find the words to express her concern, but she can’t. She never has been good with emotions. It’s why she had been so apprehensive about visiting Artemis at the Argon clinic because there was always the chance that she might meet Orion instead, and how could she deal with that idiot without punching him in the face?

“And why do you have the impression that there is something wrong with me?”

She sighed inwardly. So, it was going to be like this then.

“Because, Artemis, _you_ do not fall asleep at your computer. _You_ do not wear the same suit for Gods knows how many days in a row. _You_ do not wander about looking so unkempt. I have watched you die Artemis. And this,” she waves her hand at him, her voice getting louder and louder as she rants, “this, scares me almost as much as that did. Because Artemis Fowl II does not end up like _this_ , because of overworking yourself. So, tell me what’s going on, or so help me Frond I will bring Foaly up here to extract it straight from your mind.”

She stood up halfway through her outburst without realising. He lowers his gaze from hers as she gingerly sits back down, seemingly afraid that the chair would no longer be there. She berates herself in her head. _Well done Short; you’ve just alienated one of your few friends by threatening him with what is effectively torture_. _Great job._

She slows her breathing and tries to bring her thoughts back into a semblance of order. She tries to find the words again but can’t. She looks up, and he won’t meet her gaze. He stares down, eyes unfocused. His hands grip the armrests, his chest rising and falling faster than it should be. His complete lack of composure surprises Holly. She is used to Artemis always striving to be in complete control of himself. Whatever is happening is worse than she thought it was. She curses herself again. _I probably just made it worse. I should go._

She stands up to leave but stops when she hears his voice.

“Holly.”

His voice almost breaks her. His usually stoic, witty demeanour is completely gone; replaced with one that pleads to be understood. His eyes find hers; their usual piercing gaze replaced by one that begs her to stay. So, she does.

“Artemis.”

She kneels down in front of him, looking straight at him, trying to convey comfort through her eyes.

“I’m here, Artemis. You can talk to me.”

She does not know if what she is saying is comforting. Is it making it worse? She hopes not. She does not know how to deal with this scenario. She can fight a raging troll, but she can’t help her friends. She feels weak. Useless. She obviously won’t be able to fight whatever war is going on inside his head. _What good is she?_

Slowly, tentatively, he reaches out one of his hands from the arm rests. Holly is confused for a moment. Does he… Does he want to shake hands? But before she can deliberate more on this, he has grasped one of her hands in both of his, and he’s squeezing. She squeezes back, for what it’s worth.

He breathes deeply.

“Holly. I-”

He shudders and takes another breath.

“I. I can’t have roses in the house anymore.”

He says it and waits. He expects her to know what he means. Of course, she does. _How could she ever forget?_

“Oh.”

Is all she can say. What else can she say? ‘I’m sorry that you died’. It doesn’t exactly seem thoughtful. So, she waits for him to continue.

He waits, her hand in both of his, his breathing slowing down, trying to control his rampant emotions to get a better hold of the situation. He does not like the lack of control he is currently exhibiting, as nice as her hand feels.

He drops her hand and returns his gaze to her.

“I don’t sleep. When I do fall unconscious, I wake up sweating and screaming. I’ve snapped at Butler more times than I can count in the past two days alone, and I can’t even see the twins anymore because I don’t want them to see me like this. I’ve tried to throw myself into work, but… But it doesn’t stop.”

And then she remembers that Artemis is only 16. He may legally be 19 and have the intelligence of someone many years his senior, but he is still not an adult. Holly knows many officers who were discharged from the force after being declared mentally unfit due to PTSD. And here was a boy who had died.

Holly remembers those 6 months that she spent throwing herself into work, not giving herself any time to contemplate the fact that she couldn’t save him. Those 6 months had dragged on for her, and she had been alive.

“Artemis. I-. I’m sorry.”

His features harden at this.

“No, Holly. I made my choice. You saved me enough times. I had to return the favour at least once. I don’t regret it.” He smiles ruefully at her as he says this, and she can’t help but remember what he said. _I was a broken boy, and you saved me._

“For a genius, you’re an idiot Artemis.” She manages to keep her voice light as she stands up and makes her way back to her chair.

“I knew the consequences. Now I must deal with them.”

She shakes her head gently.

“You have changed Artemis. What happened to the boy that kidnapped a fairy for a tonne of gold?”

He smiled at this, as if it were a question he had been waiting to answer.

“I’d like to think a certain elf had a rather large impact on my moral compass. You made me a better person.”

She did not expect his candour. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out if it was a compliment. He smiles at this, the glint returning to his eyes.

“Thanks mud boy. I think.”

He smiles and stands up.

“Thank you for visiting Holly. Talking with you is always pleasant and-”

“Artemis…” she warns him, knowing full well that he is trying to change the subject. You don’t spend 4 years around someone like Artemis without picking up at least a few of his cues, even if he tries to hide them.

He stops speaking and runs a hand through his hair. The smile drops from his face.

“You know me too well. You’ll end up ruining my reputation if you carry on.”

“Artemis, you need help. You’ll ruin your own reputation if you carry on like this.”

He sits back down, conceding the point. They sit in silence for a moment longer before Artemis speaks.

“I can’t exactly see a therapist. What would I tell them? I died for 6 months because a fairy decided to try to wipe out humans. I’d be admitted to a mental institute.” He laughs humourlessly at this. Holly stays silent, trying to find a way to help her friend.

“Artemis. I have an idea. Promise to hear me out.” She says, staring at him intently. He won’t like it.

He nods absently, seemingly not paying attention.

“I know you don’t like it, but you could always go back to the Argon clinic.”

He turns his head back to meet her. He raises an eyebrow.

“Holly, I hardly think I’m welcome in Haven. Besides, anything Argon can say, I have already said to myself.”

He dismisses the idea as unlikely and not worth it before he looks back at her. She looks directly into his eyes.

“Artemis. Don’t give me your macho bullshit right now. I’ve seen plenty of officers’ deal with PTSD, and none of them came out on top on their own. Haven owes you a debt; how many times have you saved us? As many as I have, if not more. You need help. Don’t be so arrogant as to think you can deal with this on your own.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but thinks better of it, and closes it again. He angles his gaze down, at his creased trousers. He looks like, for lack of a better word, shit.

After a few minutes of deliberation, Artemis sighs.

“I’ll ask Foaly to see if arrangements can be made to see Argon through a video conference. If that fails, then I will come down to Haven. Will that satisfy you?”

Holly smiles and leans back in her chair.

“Thank you, Artemis.”

“Don’t go telling everyone I’m going soft. I have a reputation to uphold.” He smiles at her, revealing an incisor.

She grins back.

“Wouldn’t dream of it mud boy.”

She hops off the chair, and retrieves her wings and helmet, slipping them on.

“I’ve got to go, duty calls.”

Artemis stands up, brushing himself off. He walks over to a mirror and scowls.

“No wonder you could tell something was wrong. I look like a slob.”

Holly rolls her eyes under her helmet. A slob that wears designer suits and lives in a mansion.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone mud boy.” She grins and winks at him, even though he can’t see her eyes.

“How could I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Her grin widens.

“Was that a joke from Artemis Fowl? Gods, how you’ve changed.” She laughs, and _it’s the best thing he’s heard in days_.

He smiles back in response, feeling better already. With some more sleep, a shower, and a clean suit he might just feel like himself again.

“Come here mud boy.”

He turns around to see Holly beckoning him over. He’s confused for a moment, but his curiosity gets the better of him and he walks over.

“Get down here.” She looks at him pointedly, waiting for him to kneel. He kneels obediently.

She wraps her arm round his neck, and whispers into his ear.

“Don’t be an idiot. Please.”

And then she’s walking to the window, and all he’s left with is the smell of cinnamon.

She’s at the window, but she hesitates. As he stands up, she turns and removes something from around her neck, and then she throws it at him.

She snickers as he stumbles forward to catch it, almost falling over in the process.

“At least I know your reflexes are still the same.” She drawls.

She doesn’t quite hear his reply, but it sounds like ‘I’ll show you reflexes.’

“What was that, mud boy?” she teases.

“What is it?” he says a bit too quickly, before bringing it up to his face to study.

“It was a gift, a long time ago. A hope that you might change. And look at you now.”

Worry spikes through her as his face goes completely blank, his eyes staring into the distance.

“Artemis? You okay?”

This startles him, and he shakes his head to wake himself up.

“Yes, Holly, I’m… fine. I just remembered something about a zoo, and a silver wig, and a God-awful tracksuit. Do you-”

He stops talking because she’s already gone. She didn’t want to have that conversation. Not yet.

As she opens the throttle on her wings, she waves open her inbox and sees a message. She replies using her wrist communicator.

 **B:** How did it go?

 **H:** You were right, he needs help. I convinced him to see Argon over video.

 **B:** Good. Thanks Holly, he wouldn’t listen to me.

 **H:** No problem Butler, it’s what friends are for, right.

 **B:** You’re the only person he’ll listen to other than himself at the moment.

 **B:** Do you know why he’s asking me about something that happened at a zoo? With a tracksuit? I don’t remember anything like that happening.

**Holly Short signed off**

********

A/N: So, that’s the first chapter. Please do rate and review, it means a lot. All constructive criticism is welcome. Sorry if Artemis seems a bit OOC, but I think the PTSD explains it. Also, sorry if I didn’t do the best job at portraying said PTSD, I’m by no means an expert, but I tried to do some reading on it.

Hope you enjoyed

-revan_yz


	2. doctor doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis is dealing with his PTSD through therapy, but he's had to go to Argon because not many human therapists deal with the trauma of dying for 6 months (and because Holly told him to).

A/N: Thanks to everyone who gave kudos and commented, I know you’ve probably heard it all before, but it really does help motivate me. That being said, there’s not much of an introduction to this one, other than this one is mostly dialogue, so let’s get into it.

********

“Good evening doctor.”

“Good morning Artemis. How are you today?”

“I’m not having a mental breakdown, nor has my mental state deteriorated any further than since we last spoke. In fact, I may even be so bold as to say that I have improved.”

“You are still far from perfection Artemis, don’t forget that.”

“Ah, but I’m as close as anyone can get.” A wry grin cuts across the young man’s features, eyes flashing.

“Developing a narcissus complex are we Artemis?”

“Relax doctor,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “if I truly had a narcissus complex, we wouldn’t even be in this situation. I do care about people other than myself, despite what the vast majority of the People think.”

The last statement was not said with any vehemence, or spite, it was a simple statement of fact. Artemis knew it would be a long time before the fairy People forgave him for his slights against them. Regardless of the fact he had actually given all of their gold back to them when he died (he had left it to Holly – a fitting repayment he thought), many of the subterranean dwellers would still rather he be wiped of all his memories of the people, and damn the consequences. He doubted he would be alive to see the day that the People didn’t view him with a level of fear or hate.

“You make a good point Artemis. So, let’s talk about it then. You’ve managed to avoid the subject before, but I won’t let you this time. Who do you care about? Why do you care about them?”

“You’d think that judging by the amount I’m paying you, which is still an exorbitant amount, that I would get more of a service than gossiping about my social life.”

A scathing look is directed at the camera which he knows is transmitting to the Argon clinic.

“Interesting.” Artemis raises an eyebrow at this remark from the doctor. “You are still highly averse to talking about almost any of your relationships, platonic or otherwise.” Another eyeroll, “Why do you refuse to talk about your friends?”

An exasperated sigh is picked up by the microphone.

“Doctor, aside from the incredibly high chances that anything I say will become cannon fodder for your new books, I simply do not feel the need to talk about my relationships, platonic or otherwise, with someone who is not included in those sentiments.”

Artemis sat back in the chair. He hadn’t realised that he had leaned forward as he was speaking.

“I’m hurt that even after these past two years, you still wouldn’t consider me a friend.” He drawls. “besides the pain you have dealt me, I would say that we are on to something here. Honestly, why don’t you want to talk about it?”

Artemis noticed Argon never rebuked the comment about the books. Well, it was to be expected; he had said it for a reason after all.

“Because I am a private person doctor. My business is my own, and I share it with a few close friends, my family, and an incredibly nosy psychiatrist when the fancy takes me. I do not expect my friends to disclose my personal matters, and I extend the same courtesy to them.”

The last comment was made with a very pointed look directly into the camera, or through the camera, as his gaze seemed to pierce Argon, with an obvious message of _I don’t want to talk about it any further_. Argon, however, was not to be dissuaded. He was, after all, behind the safety of a screen, a few hundred miles away. Butler could not reach him here.

“So, let’s not talk about your friend’s personal lives; let’s talk about your individual relationships to each of them. And, before you ask, this is not being recorded. You have complete privacy, on my word as a doctor.”

The microphone couldn’t quite pick up whatever Artemis said next, but Argon assumed it was something along the lines of “ _And what a great doctor you are._ ”

Artemis sat there for a minute, head resting on his hand, finger stroking over the fine layer of stubble that graced the lower half of his face. Some would say that he grew it as a sign of maturity – Artemis would argue that he had been mature since he was 5 years old, and that _some_ people were a bunch of pretentious idiots.

“Very well doctor. Ask away. But I _will_ stop answering if I don’t want to.”

Argon sighed inwardly. The rich ones were always the most pretentious to deal with.

“Let’s start with the basics. Butler, your manservant. How would you describe your relationship with him?”

Artemis doesn’t even blink before replying.

“Butler is my staunchest ally and oldest friend. He is as much a part of my family as the twins are. He was as much a father to me as he was a bodyguard during those years where my birth father was in the Arctic. There is almost nothing I do not trust him with.”

“Almost nothing?”

“I do not trust him with his own life when holding it against others. Given a situation in which either he or I die, then I know which he would choose. It is the same with him, and anyone that I would consider my friend. He is too ready to sacrifice himself for someone else.”

“That is only mildly ironic coming from the one who drugged his two greatest friends before running off to die.”

“I made a calculated decision that resulted in myself only dying for six months. No offence meant to him, but I doubt Butler would’ve done the same.”

Artemis decided to let the comment about Holly slip. He was not one for biting bullets.

“Ah but the implications of your death are much more far reaching than you initially thought, weren’t they? I doubt you expected to develop PTSD afterwards, which is quite a large oversight for a supposed genius of your calibre. Not to mention that you are now, what is it, 32 months younger than you should be?”

Artemis scowled at this, his brow furrowing. No-one likes it when you insult their intelligence – least of all one of the people with the highest IQ both on and under the Earth.

“It was a highly tense situation. Such a thought did not seem relevant at the time.”

“Ah, now we’re on to something. So why criticise Butler for sacrificing himself if you do the same? You just said it was a high stress scenario; what if you had made an error in judgement. For example, what if your DNA was too degraded by the time the captain made it back to Foaly? Most people would consider that _reckless_ behaviour.

“I am not most people.”

“So it would seem.” The reply was not meant as an insult, merely as an acknowledgement, though that did not stop Artemis momentarily bristling.

Silence ensued for a brief time.

“So, let’s move to the other Butler, Juliet. How would you describe the relationship between the two of you?”

This question took longer to answer than the previous one, but still no more than ten seconds.

“Juliet is the sister I never had.” Artemis says simply. If he were anyone else, a shrug would have accompanied the statement, but he was not _anyone else_ , he was Artemis Fowl II, and he was going to act like it.

“Simple enough. What about your relationship with the dwarf Mulch Diggums?”

Artemis smiled at that. Not one of his signature vampiric grins, nor a smirk of superiority, but a genuine actual smile.

“Mulch was a business partner. Considering the amount of times we’ve saved the world, I’d say that he has a knack for finding himself in incredibly fortunate locations for myself. With such an ability, how could he not be my friend?”

“So, is he simply a business partner? Or a friend of opportunity?”

“He was once both, but he has managed to progress through and become a genuine friend. It is always a pleasure to assist him in his PI business.”

“You help them still?”

“Doctor, I don’t know how much you know of Mulch and Doodah Day, but neither one is entirely gifted in the realms of computers, nor does either have the penchant for schemes that I have. It would be rude of me not to offer my assistance to my friends, would it not?”

Argon nods his head absently, seemingly pondering some metaphysical question on consciousness, when he was in fact in the process of realising why Mulch and Doodah had been raking in more gold than is usual for PIs in the past few years.

Artemis settles back for a brisk wait, leaning back in his chair, resting his arms on the rests, and tilting his head back slightly. He doesn’t have to wait for an incredible amount of time.

“What about your rivalry with Foaly? Would you consider it a healthy relationship?”

“Yes, I would. I have always admired his ingenuity, and I believe that he grudgingly admires my plans. I have assisted him with numerous projects of his, including his piggybacking of the newest satellites, which even he had trouble cracking open.”

“Would you say you had any unhealthy relationships?”

Here Artemis paused to think. Unhealthy.

“I would honestly say that all of my relationships are healthy.”

“Including your one with Captain Short?”

This was one of the few times that Argon actually managed to catch the human off guard. It was a pleasure to see the slight twitch of his eyebrow and watch as Artemis calculated a response.

“My relationship to the captain is what most people would call a ‘ _best friend’._ ” It almost seemed like he struggled to say the last two words. “She is, despite our fallings-out, one of the people I admire most upon this earth.”

“You mean despite the fact that you kidnapped her? And lied to her. Repeatedly. And then drugged her?”

He watched Artemis wince at each of the points. For him to have lost control of his reactions like this was highly unusual, especially for him.

“Yes, despite that.”

“And you still insist you have a healthy relationship?”

“Of course.”

“A healthy friendship?”

“You just asked me the same question twice doctor. Is senility beginning to set in?”

Argon sighed.

“Artemis, there are other types of relationships than friendships. I would so presume to admit that you have feelings for the dear captain.”

And suddenly his face was completely back under control again. Fascinating.

“I don’t see your evidence.”

Ah, so not a straight-out denial. Interesting.

“Artemis,” the doctor begins gently, “you have suffered multiple near-death experiences together. In fact, I would believe that I am safe to say that you have both watched the other die.” Artemis looks away at that point, a ghost of a shadow flitting across his features. “People don’t tend to leave that kind of experience without a bond.”

“The captain and I are good friends. We could never be anything else; for one, there is a species barrier, who knows what complications that brings up. Two, the age gap isn’t small by any standards…”

Argon sits back and listens, tucking it away in the corner of his mind.

After a few more seconds, he holds a hand up to the screen.

“This is a great deal of thought for something you don’t think about.”

Artemis stops mid-flow. Argon could practically see the cogs turning in his head. Eventually he slumps back against his chair in a most un-Artemis like fashion.

“I believe that concludes our session today doctor.”

Argon can’t help but smile.

“Of course, Artemis. As you no doubt know, however, we only have three session left. I would like you to come to Haven for these last three, or I won’t declare you mentally fit.” Before Artemis can argue, Argon raises a finger and says “I’m sure you can make the suitable arrangements. Maybe you can stay with Captain Short for a time”

If Argon could mimic the human’s facial features, now would have been the time for a signature smirk, but he couldn’t so he simply said, “See you in two weeks” and terminated the call. He knew that he’d need to get someone onto upgrading his cyber security for that comment, but the colour in the mud boy’s face had been worth it.

********

A/N: Sorry this is shorter than chapter one; it was originally going to be longer, but I decided to split it into two chapters instead. Again, please review, criticism is welcome as long as it’s constructive, and comments always help motivate me. As always, hope you enjoyed.

To the comments on the last chapter:

 **Masterofallvillainy** : Thanks for the love, and I’m glad you liked my view on Holly. To me, she doesn’t seem like the type to embrace feelings she doesn’t know about, she’d rather suppress them than deal with them.

 **MagnetaAvocado** : Thanks so much for the compliment, it’s my first time writing in a long time, and my first time writing with the intent to upload it to the internet, so it’s a real confidence booster.


	3. doctor doctor part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly talks to Argon about Artemis and is thoroughly surprised and frustrated with Argon.

A/N: Sorry this one took so long to get out. I’ve been occupied with a bunch of other stuff and forgot about this for a week or so. Anyway, let’s get into it.

********

Holly sighed as she walked through the double doors to the clinic. The wave of recycled air made her hair dance slightly. She needed to cut it down again, it was becoming a nuisance. She breathed in and sighed again. Haven’s air filtration system didn’t even come close to what it felt like to breathe air on the surface. Gods how she missed it. It had been months since she’d been topside. She hadn’t been on active duty as much as she’d liked to have been, what with her recent promotion to commodore. Trouble had insisted that she learn the ropes of the paperwork, before she starts breaking all the rules, and so she had been confined to desk duty for the past months. She hadn’t even used up enough magic to need to complete the ritual anytime in the next year.

She was very much on autopilot when she walked up to Argon’s door and knocked. To be completely honest, she hadn’t even noticed she’d got further in than the reception desk, her head being so full of suspicious accidents that could befall her and use all of her magic. She only remembered why she was there when she found herself sat in a faux leather armchair opposite one Dr Jerbal Argon.

“Good evening Commodore. How was your week? Exciting as ever I assume?”

This was their customary greeting. In the year and a half or so Holly had been coming to the clinic to check on Artemis’ progress, _although she wouldn’t ever tell him she’d been doing so, he’d be livid,_ Argon would always try and engage her in small talk. It was like a game. Could he actually get her to engage in a conversation that wasn’t about the mud boy’s mental health? He had yet to prove that she could talk about something other than Fowl for more than five minutes. While he understood that the Commodore was a busy elf, she had the time to visit him every other week at least, if not once a week, and so she couldn’t be busy enough to have to skip over small talk every time.

“If you call sitting behind a desk exciting then yes, I had an amazing week. Foaly had to fix the printer after it ended up with a mysterious hole in it after having a paper jam for the third time in an hour.”

“The LEP still keeps paper records? Quite an ancient method of storage isn’t it?”

“After Koboi, Doctor, perhaps archaic is better. She can’t hack paper after all.”

“Interesting solution. Couldn’t Foaly have just encrypted the LEP’s files with one of those eternity codes that you had so much trouble with years ago?”

“You assume that Foaly hasn’t already done so. With the current encryption the LEP is running on its software, the only two people who could break it are Foaly himself and Artemis, and neither one is an enemy. I don’t see the point in keeping paper records, but I don’t get a choice, Commander’s orders.”

“Why are you so sure that Fowl isn’t an enemy of the people? He was public enemy number one for quite a few years if I remember correctly.”

As an LEP officer, Holly had been trained to hide both her emotions and body language during an interrogation. Admittedly, she wasn’t the best at the former, but she definitely wasn’t the worst at the latter. Then again, she hadn’t been tested against someone who has trained for at least a century to read body language cues like a book. Needless to say, Argon noticed her hands clench slightly, and he even saw her pupils dilate ever so slightly. Strange. The lights hadn’t changed.

She fought to keep her voice calm.

“Doctor. As someone who has known Artemis Fowl the longest, out of our entire species, I would say that he is most certainly no longer a threat to the People, Haven, or even his own kind anymore. He’s done more humanitarian work than most people do in a lifetime in the past two years, and he’s spearheading the scientific efforts of the world. He’s helped Foaly with more of his projects than anyone else, he’s helped Mulch and Doodah get back into the PI business, Frond, he’s even helped the LEP on more than one occasion.”

She hadn’t noticed that she’d stood up. Nor did she notice that she was practically shouting by the end of it. So much for keeping her emotions in check. On the other hand, Argon now knew why they called her the ‘crazy girly captain’.

“Well, you do seem to know a lot of what he’s up to these days.”

“We keep in touch.” She mumbles as she slides back into her chair, visibly flustered at her own outburst.

He collects his thoughts before starting again.

“I concur with you r opinion commodore, Artemis is no longer a threat to anyone.” She glances up sharply, a question on her lips, but he starts again before she can begin. “I asked you, because I wanted to see your reaction,” he gestures at her, and she slumps even further back. “I doubt I’d be wrong in saying that you are protective of him.”

She looks away, refusing to meet his eyes. He lets her think.

After a long while, she looks at him.

“He is my friend.” She says simply.

He smiles his most enigmatic smile, hoping to entice more from her.

“He had much the same opinion about you.” She shot a sharp glance at him, narrowing her eyes. “What was it he said?” he made an effort to look like he was having difficulty remembering. He did promise no recordings, but one doesn’t become a millionaire through following the rules. “Ah, yes. He even went so far as to say that he would consider you his _best friend_.” He purposefully put as much emphasis as he could on those last two words.

She just sat there, blank face, eyes looking at nothing in particular. He coughed. She looked at him, startled.

“Did you expect a different result Doctor? We’ve saved each other’s lives more times than either one can count, we’ve travelled through time, and we’ve both watched the other die. That does tend to form close bonds.” Her voice was cold by the end of it.

“He said that he admires you the most, out of everyone.” This was not exactly what he had said, but Argon allowed himself some creative liberties here and there.

This caught her off guard.

“He what?”

“He said that he-”

“Yeah I got that bit Doctor, but-” she didn’t quite know how to carry on.

“Why does he admire you?”

She nodded mutely.

“As you said yourself, you have gone through much. Your experiences together have led to a mutual admiration of the other. You started as enemies, then to grudging allies, and now staunch friends. Your relationship has progressed from simply part time colleagues. You were a distinct part of his upbringing, and it shows. You yourself made a very well-spoken point about this when you argued with the council over Artemis’ clone.”

She looked away halfway through his explanation, only to wince at the end. She didn’t need to be reminded that she had gone against the council to bring Artemis back. Maybe if Vinyaya had still been on the council it would have gone differently, but she wasn’t and it hadn’t, and she and Foaly had had to go behind the council’s back to bring him back. She didn’t regret it, but that didn’t stop it being a sore point.

“Commodore, I would like to ask you something that I asked Artemis. I want your opinion on the matter.”

She was shaken out of her short stupor.

“Yes, yes, that’s fine, ask away.”

“Would you consider yours and Artemis’ relationship to be healthy?”

She blinked.

She blinked again.

“I don’t see how it’s not healthy.”

“Aside from the kidnappings, and drugging, and repeated lying of course.”

He smiles, intending it as a light-hearted joke, but Holly doesn’t see the smile.

“Doctor I assure you that Artemis is not the same-”

“Relax commodore, it was a jibe, nothing more. I know how much he regrets his actions.”

She calms down but doesn’t relax completely.

“Well, do you have any other questions about him? He only has three sessions left after all.”

She shakes her head, obviously contemplating something far more important than the good doctor sat in front of her. He was slightly miffed at this and decided to tell her something that he wasn’t going to originally.

“Well, that concludes today then. Oh, by the way commodore, Artemis will be coming down to Haven in two weeks.”

Her head whips around as she reaches the door.

“What?” she manages to choke out, obviously too surprised to come up with a witty remark.

“It’s only for a day, don’t worry. I refuse to sign him off until I’ve seen him in person for these last three sessions.”

She seems to have gotten over her initial surprise and a barrage of questions comes firing at him.

“But where is he going to stay? Are you sure this is a good idea? This is not a good idea. Will he need an escort? There are too many of the People who still see him as a threat…”

She keeps talking, mostly to herself, and Argon smirks.

“Commodore. You have no need to worry. It is a private visit; the press won’t be told. It’s ‘off the books’ as people say. Besides, Artemis is a grown man, he can make his own arrangements. I did however take the liberties of saying that he would likely be welcome to stay at your apartment if he couldn’t make other arrangements.”

With that, he gently pushed the spluttering elf out his office and shut the door. He does not need a first-hand demonstration on why they call her the crazy girly captain.

********

A/N: Thanks to everyone who’s left kudos, commented, or bookmarked. It means a lot. Again, sorry this one’s shorter and later than the others. Some notes on the plot going forward. It is a slow burn, so there will be a lot of awkwardness and denial, but they will eventually get together. At the end of the day, this is an A/H fic. Please do comment and review, kudos are appreciated as well.

Quick note on my interpretation of Holly: I mentioned it in the last chapter, but in my opinion, Holly doesn’t do well with feelings that she doesn’t expect. We see in the books that she doesn’t socialise much and has only been on a few dates. So, the Holly I write very much just denies the existence of all feelings she doesn’t expect or want. It’s not an original idea, I’m not the first to write her like this, but it makes sense to me.

To the comments on chapter 2:

 **Masterofallvillainy:** Artemis is very much someone who tries to remain emotionally uninvolved, and I think he struggles with the idea of friendship and positive relationships in the first few books, and the sort of emotional neglect as a child is what leads to his denial. In short, I agree.

 **Happy_camper:** Thanks. I’m not the first to write a conversation with Argon and Artemis (besides Colfer) but I’d like to think I add my own spin to it.

 **MagnetaAvocado:** Thanks, I just like to think that Argon enjoys messing with Artemis. Sorry about the confusion with the dialogue, I’ll see if I can make an adjustment to make it more understandable. I thought of the chapter name randomly, and I just thought it was perfect.

 **Sorex:** I know right, I love A/H. It’s a great dynamic in my opinion. This is going to be a slow burn though, so they’ll be friends for a while longer, but it will happen eventually.

-Revan_yz


	4. evening conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly walks home, Butler talks with Artemis, and Artemis finally calls Holly.

A/N: Chances are updates for this fic will come out roughly every two weeks unless I have a hit of inspiration or a complete lack of it. I’ll try to get them out closer to every week, but we’ll see how it goes.

Some people seem to be getting confused on the time frame of the chapters, which is fair enough, I forgot to explain it. Basically, the first chapter takes place one year after The Last Guardian (so Artemis is 16), and the second chapter takes place two years later after Artemis has been seeing Argon (virtually of course) for the duration of those two years. Chapter Three takes place around an hour or two after the previous chapter, and this one takes place straight off the end of Chapter Three. That makes Artemis 18 by this point. Hope that helps anyone who was confused.

If anyone has any ideas for a better title for this fic, I’d appreciate it, because in my opinion, the title is misleading people to think that Artemis’ PTSD is more of a central aspect than it will be. It mostly acts as a catalyst for the rest of the fic, and I’ll mention it again throughout, but it’s not a main part.

With that over, I should probably stop boring you and get on with it.

********

Holly stood there, still staring at Argon’s office door, her mouth still spurting out questions long after her brain had shut down. She blinked. And then she blinked again. Why had Argon insisted on Artemis coming to Haven? He knew that the mud boy was in almost perfectly good health by now. What possible reason could he have for bringing the mud boy down here? It was just a nuisance to the People with all the security concerns it raised.

That was what her LEP training told her. In reality, she was just glad that she’d be able to see her friend again, mixed with the definitely completely healthy apprehension that accompanies seeing an old friend for the first time in years. She hadn’t had much of a chance to go to Fowl Manor since she’d forced Artemis to see Argon, as her new duties as Commodore demanded that she be in Haven more than she would have liked.

She turned on her heel and smartly set off for the way out of the clinic. She was on her off time now, and she’d make the most of it.

By the time she’d reached the impressive double doors that marked the entrance to the clinic, she was playing through what Argon had said, and evaluating it to see if the LEP actually did have anything to worry about. Realistically Artemis wasn’t likely to attempt to steal any more fairy secrets, having learnt his lesson the last few times he’d almost died. Besides, Foaly now willingly gave Artemis access to sections of his databases and some of the more outdated tech so Artemis could use it to improve his latest projects.

Then she stopped stock still. At the time Argon’s last few words hadn’t taken root in her head, her mind swirling as it was with security concerns.

**“** **I did however take the liberties of saying that he would likely be welcome to stay at your apartment if he couldn’t make other arrangements.** **”**

_That pretentious little bastard._ What right did he have to just invite people to her apartment? She was a Commodore for Frond’s sake; she was busy enough without having to cater for a spoilt rich kid. She snarled, and shoves the doors open with a vehemence that leaves the sprite at the reception desk startled.

As she walked back to her apartment complex, she tried to rationalise Argon’s decision. Artemis didn’t know anyone else in Haven except Foaly and Mulch, and Foaly and Caballine were having enough trouble as it were with their new foal, and Mulch wasn’t exactly the best living companion, as Doodah could attest to. He wouldn’t be able to bring Butler with him, and so he needed someone who could protect him in a scrape, Frond knows how many fairies still think he’s a threat, and neither Mulch nor Foaly had any combat experience. Besides, he was still going through therapy, and friendly faces couldn’t hurt.

 _Damn that gnome._ His argument made sense and she hated it. She sighed, resigning herself to having the mud boy for company for a day. She was doing her best to ignore the part of her that was happy to be seeing him again. Things were just _better_ with him around. Besides, it had been too long since they’d been face to face. The last time was just over a year ago, when she’d gone to tell him that she’d been promoted. It had been a brief visit, with a warm congratulations from both Butler and Angeline, and Artemis had even gifted her a genuine smile, as rare as they were.

She mused as she walked through Haven, past the restaurants and shops that made up the People’s commerce, past the hydroponics buildings that supplied the food to every denizen of Haven City, and past the LEP headquarters. She usually opted to walk, both to work and for any leisure visits she had (which were rare), as Haven was quite a tight-packed city, complete opposite to the sprawling hives that made up the surface. Besides, she woke up early enough to get to her office with plenty of time to spare regardless of her method of travel.

Debating with herself as to whether she should pick up some food on the way back, she found herself at her door sooner than she expected, and it was decided for her.

“D’arvit.” She muttered to herself as she opened the door to her apartment, resigned to another night of cold ready meals. _Oh, the wonderful life of the LEP star._

********

“Well, this is highly unusual Artemis.”

Artemis stopped what he was doing and turned to face the hulking manservant stood in the doorway.

“I had an epiphany while I was gone my friend, and that was that many of my problems stem from not being physically fit.” He smiled a wry grin as he wiped the sweat from his brow, and then gestured to the workout area around him. “Self-improvement never stops and all that.”

Butler raised an eyebrow. Then he shook his head, smiling. “If you told me that Artemis Fowl II had said that even four years ago, I would have laughed in your face.” he smiled, a sadder, smaller smile this time. “What I meant was unusual, however, was that you’ve been working out for over 3 hours straight now.”

He finished talking, as if his point were made.

Artemis was about to ask why Butler had been keeping tabs on him so closely, and then remembered that Butler was, still, first and foremost, the Fowl family’s manservant. In recent years he had seemed less like an employee and more as an extended family member (not that he wasn’t already, but more so than previously) due to the lack of surprises. Life had been surprisingly tame as of the last few years, and it’s needless to say that Butler didn’t miss it.

“What’s going on Artemis?”

As always, he was short and concise. Artemis could at least return the favour.

“Argon is forcing me to travel to Haven to see him in person for my final few sessions. He won’t declare me mentally stable until I’ve seen him 3 times in person.” He lets out a small sigh before carrying on, “and due to the time zone differences I will need to stay overnight in Haven. The problem is, there’s no hotels, hostels or anything similar that would even think to take me, so I’d have to stay with Holly, because Caballine convinced Foaly to take a holiday.”

Butler stands for a moment, thinking.

“Honestly, Artemis, I don’t see the problem. You’re both mature adults, and it’s not like you don’t know her well enough.”

Artemis sighed; and then he made a mental note to stop sighing so much or it’d become a habit.

“I know old friend; it’s just been a long time since I’ve seen her, and I don’t know how comfortable she’ll be with me intruding on her home.”

The manservant nodded absently, and after a moment of thought, replied.

“I’m sure she won’t mind too much. After all, you’ve saved the world together, that forges a bond not easily broken.” He smiles, not noticing Artemis’ slight wince.

 _Dying has the ability to break most bonds_.

********

A few hours later (three to be exact), Artemis was sat in his room, trying to make progress on his latest project, the Eco-Villa. He’d laid out the initial ideas but was struggling with combining as much modern technology as possible, while still making the house both sustainable and comfortable. He was making an effort to keep a second document open for the future, when he inevitably created a standardised blueprint for release to the public. There are other things to save the world from than annihilation after all.

He was, without a doubt, less productive than usual. Whether he put it down to the ache of his muscles or the apprehension that he felt at having to call Holly. He’d been putting it off with the intention of asking her before he slept, because of the time difference of course, but he obviously wasn’t going to get any work done if he put it off any longer.

Leaning back in his chair, he reached for his fairy-enhanced smartphone, telling himself that his heart was pumping faster because of the three cups of coffee he’d drank to entice the ideas out of his head. He never had been a good liar, even to himself.

Slowly, he turned the phone on, allowed it to read his fingerprint, recognise his face, and scan his eye, hoping for something to happen that would mean he wouldn’t have to make this call. Where was Opal when you needed her?

He found Holly’s contact, and then stared at the screen for longer than he’d care to admit.

_You are Artemis Fowl the Second, and you’re asking a favour from a friend. You have faced down an army of trolls; you can make a call._

He only remembered that he had been an amnesiac at the time on the second ring. It also happened to be the final ring.

“Hey Artemis, what’s up?”

She sounded out of breath.

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” He decided to take a page from Butler’s book and be direct. “I just had a favour to ask, that’s all.”

He waited for a reply. Then, concerned that he’d caught her in something important, he checked what time it was in Haven. 5am. He wasn’t surprised she was awake at such a time; she’d always seemed like an early riser.

“Holly, should I call back later?”

A pause.

“D’arvit, sorry Artemis. No, it’s fine, I was just finishing.”

He smiled. She hadn’t lost her mouthiness then.

“Should I ask why you’re awake at 5 in the morning Commodore?”

He could almost hear her rolling her eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep mud boy, and I had some energy to use, so I came to the gym.” She paused, and he could hear her taking a drink. “I’m assuming this favour is to do with your visit to our good doctor Argon?”

Artemis liked to think of himself as one not easily surprised, but this time he was proved wrong. He was stunned into silence for a second, before remembering that it was actually a real live person on the other end of the line, and that it would indeed be rude to ignore them.

“Sorry, you surprised me is all. I didn’t think you’d know about it yet. But yes, it is. I wanted to inquire as to whether or not I’d be able to reside at your apartment while I’m in Haven? Foaly is out of town for the duration of my visit, and Mulch and Doodah are currently undercover. I don’t really have anywhere else to stay.”

While he was talking, he heard what sounded like a “D’arvit”, but it was hard to tell. He put it down to her lack of sleep, and not anything he’d said.

“Yeah sure, that’ll be fine Artemis, it’s no trouble as long as you’re fine sleeping on a couch instead of a four-poster bed with silk sheets.” This time he could hear the smirk in her voice, and he liked it.

“I assure you Holly, I’ll survive.”

He forgot how much he missed this easy exchange of banter.

“Well, if that’s all sorted then mud boy, I’ll pick you up from E1 at Haven Local Time 7pm. Do try not to be late, and don’t make me bring an LEP escort.”

“I’ll do my best Commodore.”

This time she could hear the grin in his voice.

“See you in a week Artemis, do try not to get into any trouble.”

“No promises.”

And with that, it was over. He didn’t see why he’d been apprehensive; it had been fine. In fact, he forgot how much he’d missed the easy banter he’d had with Holly. He shook his head. He’d have plenty of time soon enough.

********

A/N: Wow this one took a while. Sorry guys. I wrote half of it, then I was on holiday for a week, and then I didn’t really know where I wanted to take it.

To the last chapters comments:

 **MagnetaAvocado:** I agree with the elfin sensitivity, and it’s definitely going to play a larger part in the future. This chapter takes place roughly two years after TLG, so Artemis is 18. And finally, I haven’t read the Fowl Twins, but I do know the general plot where it concerns Holly and Artemis, and yeah, for the moment this fic takes place between TLG and TFT.

 **Lion01:** Thanks for the compliment. Personally I’d say the reason Argon is so sharp is that he’s been seeing Artemis for 2 years now, so he’s got to know him more, and knows his tics. Again, sorry this one took so long, the next chapter shouldn’t take as long.

Last thing, I had two ideas for a chapter title.

-Be Still My Foolish Heart

-Dear Heart It’s Me

Do let me know which you prefer, or if you have any better ideas.

Thanks as always,

-revan_yz


	5. a humble visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis talks with a certain elf on the shuttle journey and then gets repeatedly embarrassed.

A/N: Thanks to the comments on Ch4, it seriously does mean a lot. I’m not going to prattle on this time, so let’s go.

********

Artemis was sweating. Now, this would not be much of a problem, except that it was February, and winter in Europe, especially in the less tropical countries like Ireland, was not a warm time. He was simply sweating because he was wearing so many layers while waiting outside (he was wearing three to be exact; his shirt, his suit jacket, and an overcoat). At least, that’s why he told himself he was sweating. Artemis Fowl II couldn’t be anxious, could he?

He didn’t get much more time to contemplate his own mental state before he noticed a shimmer in the air in front of him. He knew what that meant. His breath caught in his throat. Could it be her?

“Hello mud boy.”

No. No it wasn’t her.

“Good evening Commander.” He said to the elf hovering in front of him. “I wasn’t expecting a visit from such a high-ranking officer for such a menial occasion.”

Artemis imagined Kelp rolling his eyes behind the visor as he responded. “Just precautions mud boy. You were Public Enemy Number One for a considerable time don’t forget.”

He stopped the brief wince from crossing his face. He wasn’t likely to forget if everyone kept reminding him. He’d changed. Had they not realised?

“Regardless Commander, I do hope I didn’t drag you away from anything too important.” He said, allowing a small smile to grace his features.

“Don’t you worry your little head Fowl; I wouldn’t be here if there was something I hadn’t already sorted out. Or got someone else to sort out for me.” He shrugged at the last bit and chuckled to himself.

“Ah, the joys of having subordinates.” Artemis bantered back, catching what looked like a shadow of guilt pass over the elf’s face.

“Indeed.” He cleared his throat. “Shall we get going then Fowl, it’s not a long journey and I’d appreciate having some food right about now.”

Artemis nodded, gesturing for the LEP officer to lead the way.

“You don’t need to blindfold me, or anything do you Commander? Put a bucket over my head? Knock me out maybe?” Artemis jibed, trying to elicit a response from the elf. He, of course, succeeded.

Trouble sighed.

“If I blindfolded you, you’d probably still count the steps we take, same with a bucket. And if I knocked you out? Then no doubt you’ve already installed a tracker somewhere in your outfit that would track you to the shuttle-port anyway. So, no Fowl, it would be a waste of time.”

Artemis nodded. The commander made sense. The Artemis of a few years ago would have planned for being blindfolded, knocked out, or even mesmered, and would have planned accordingly.

“I assure you Commander, I am not tracking where we are going, nor do I have any intention to do so.” He thought for a few moments as they carried on walking, then decided to try his luck. “besides, I wouldn’t even need to track it, my memory is good enough to remember anything I need to.”

He saw Kelp’s hand twitch towards his Neutrino.

He had forgotten the feeling of riling people up. It had been a major passion of his before he had died, and he’d always enjoyed jibing Opal. She always had been too egocentric. He hadn’t had much opportunity to test out his insults recently, because he’d spent most of his time either holed up in his room or his lab or spending time with his family. His mother and father both regretted how they bought him up, (as much as he argued that he came out perfectly fine) and so they took a much more hands on approach with Myles and Beckett.

It was sometimes painful for Artemis to be around them for too long. It wasn’t usually a problem, but sometimes it made his chest hurt and his eyes water to remember his days as a child. Those were the days where he’d lock himself in his room and throw himself into work, designing this or that, anything to keep himself occupied until he couldn’t remember why he left.

He knew that he should address it, but he didn’t have the time. That’s what he told himself, and Butler anyway. He refused to tell Argon. He didn’t need more therapy, regardless of whether or not it had helped. It was humiliating. He had only submitted to it the second time because Holly insisted.

“Something on your mind Fowl?”

Kelp sounded concerned.

It took Artemis a moment to realise that he’d stopped walking. He didn’t notice that he’d stopped. How long had he been standing here?

“Yes, everything’s fine thank you Commander.” Artemis reassured the elf before gesturing forward. “Shall we carry on?”

Kelp nodded gruffly, before turning away again, seemingly forgetting the moment of concern.

It wasn’t long before the pair reached a small hill, with a ring of boulders halfway up its side. They approached, and Trouble tapped a few keys on his wrist pad, and half of one of the rocks disappeared, revealing a pair of steel double doors set into the rock.

“Holographic projection?” he questioned the Commander, raising an eyebrow.

“Only partly. Holograms only go so far, and we can’t have a human kid accidentally tumble into the busiest fairy port in the hemisphere. This is a hologram” the elf says, pointing forward, at the rock that had disappeared. “but we only use it if we have an imminent arrival or we need a quick evac. Otherwise we use an actual rock and just slide it back into place.”

Artemis was impressed and it showed. Not at the technology, he knew Foaly was capable of far more complicated and convoluted designs than that, but rather that Kelp knew how it worked. He never seemed the type to be interested in the newest technology unless it fired lasers.

The elf obviously figured out what was going on inside Artemis head and prodded him forward.

“I do pay attention to the centaur sometimes Fowl.”

Artemis smiled.

“I’m sure he feels the same about you Commander.”

Kelp snorts, and then sighs quietly

“He’s not the only one apparently.” He says, almost to himself.

Artemis was confused. Was that meant for him? Should he reply? He decided to err on the side of caution and remain silent. And so, this was how they walked to the shuttle. Not to say that it was an awkward silence, Artemis had been in enough social interactions to know when the air is strange, but this was more a friendly silence. Neither one needed to talk, and so they simply walked. Neither one complained.

It wasn’t long before they found themselves at the shuttle bay. Trouble immediately started heading to the leftmost shuttle, a silver pod with only a few burn marks visible on her undercarriage.

Kelp pushed a button on the side of the shuttle, probably more forcefully than he needed to, and a door slid open to reveal what most would call a luxurious interior. Artemis called it slightly above adequate. He was after all, a millionaire.

The elf grinned. “There are a few perks to being Commander” he said as he unclipped his wings, hung them on a hook, and then strapped himself in to one of the plush faux leather seats. Artemis did likewise, taking a seat not quite opposite, but close enough that he could easily look him in the eye.

He leaned back, closing his eyes, and waiting for the inevitable plummet to Haven city. The journey would only take a few minutes. He heard the door hiss close. He braced himself, before opening his eyes and seeing Kelp chuckling silently to himself. On noticing that Artemis had opened his eyes, Kelp grinned.

“Feeling queasy already are we mud boy?”

Artemis had just opened his mouth to throw out a snarky response, when his stomach fell through the floor as he felt the pods struts detach from the walls. Before he could get his first word out, he was plummeting down a magma chute at an extremely high velocity, with an elf who couldn’t stop laughing sat not quite opposite him.

Artemis scowled after regaining his composure. He did not like being made a fool of.

Once Kelp’s roaring laughter had died down to a few chuckles here and there, and the pod had ridden out the first of the magma flares and was on its way to Haven, Artemis closed his eyes and leant back once again. He was tired after all, it was 6am in Ireland and most of Europe, whereas it would be around 9pm in Haven’s simulated day/night cycle. He hadn’t slept much last night, instead working on finishing the architectural designs for the Eco Villa, as he wouldn’t be able to over the coming days. He was beginning to regret his decisions.

Just before his mind wandered to another train of thought, he heard Trouble clear his throat. He opened his eyes and looked at the elf shifting about in front of him.

“Something the problem Commander?” he tried to project concern into his voice, and he thought he did well.

“No Fowl, I just.” He seemed to struggle with the words, before finally admitting “I feel that I owe you an apology.”

Now Artemis was thoroughly confused. Kelp hadn’t done anything worthy of an apology that he could think of.

Regardless of Artemis’ confusion, the elf didn’t give him a chance to consider the situation before continuing.

“I treated you unfairly in the 2 or so years prior to your, incident.” Artemis noted the lack of direct mention of his death, and he appreciated that the usually gruff commander would be so tactful. “In my defence, you took one of my best officers with you in that debacle with the Demons, and that left me with a lot extra paperwork, and one less friend. God knows I have few enough as it is.”

Artemis was surprised that the commander was being so open. He did not seem like one to put so much thought into apologising like this. He didn’t want to undermine the obvious effort it had taken for Kelp to come out and say this, and so chose his words carefully.

“Thank you, Commander, but realistically, I understand the cause for your annoyance. I was a massive nuisance to the LEP for many years, and regardless of how much I helped, I also did a lot of damage. I will always regret my early actions. I was young and vainglorious, and I made stupid decisions. I will accept your forgiveness if you accept mine.”

Kelp had remained silently avoiding his gaze throughout Artemis’ short speech, but when he looked up, there was a newfound respect in his eyes.

“You’ve changed mud boy.”

Artemis’ gaze unfocused, and he smiled sadly.

“I hope so Commander, I really do.”

Trouble offered his hand to Artemis.

“The past is the past Fowl. What’s that saying you Humans have? Turning a new leaf?”

Artemis smiled, and took the hand, passing up the opportunity to correct the misquoted idiom. He really hoped he had changed.

“Call me Artemis then Commander.”

Kelp raised an eyebrow.

“Actually, stick with Fowl. I prefer calling you Kelp or Commander to Trouble anyways.” Artemis said with a grin, making sure to stress the elf’s first name.

“Don’t make me regret this Fowl.” Kelp says groaning.

Artemis smiles, and he’s in a good mood for the last few minutes of the journey. It’s spent in companionable silence.

********

An hour later, and Artemis is outside the doors to Holly’s apartment complex. His good mood from earlier replaced with a deep-seated nervousness that he can’t seem to shake. He received more odd looks than usual on the way here, and so he’d opted for the less popular routes. Foaly’s maps were so much more detailed than Human ones, an aspect he had found use for multiple times already that day, after getting lost twice and walking into what appeared to be a curry dealer. He had forgotten that it was illegal in Haven. A younger Artemis might have started a profitable business in that niche.

Just as he was calming his nerves to walk into the building, he heard a familiar voice.

“Artemis?”

He turned around, and this time he wasn’t disappointed.

“D’arvit, how long have you been standing there? I’m so sorry, I completely forgot you were coming over here until ten minutes ago, and then I didn’t have time to get changed and.”

While she was speaking, Artemis was trying to drag his gaze away from her. She’d obviously just been at the gym, as evidenced by the crop top and leggings that hugged her figure and he _really_ needed to stop staring otherwise he’d be in a really unfortunate situation.

“It’s fine Holly, I only just arrived.”

She raised an eyebrow at this. His blood was pumping at an unhealthy speed and if she pointed out how much he’d been staring he’s afraid he might drop dead on the spot. It’s a wonder he hasn’t turned beet red yet.

“Artemis, you were meant to arrive half an hour ago, and it’s only a fifteen-minute walk from the shuttle depot.”

She placed her hands on her hips as she said this and _God_ did, he need to stop looking at her legs.

He smiled a sheepish grin.

“Would you believe me if I said I was seeing the wonderful sights of Haven?”

She laughed, and it sounded _so much better_ in person.

“Imagine that. Artemis Fowl the Second getting lost. Some people would just love to know that.”

He hadn’t even noticed as she produced a key from her bag, as entranced as he was by her laugh.

He shook his head. What was getting into him? He was acting like an adolescent. He was 18, and he’d been much more mature than that for a much longer time. What happened to the Artemis who faced down death with a witty comment? _Oh right,_ he remembered; _he died._

“Blackmailing a civilian Commodore? Hardly the behaviour of the LEP’s shining star.”

He replied back after a moment of wresting his eyes away from the elf.

She scoffed, shooting back a retort as she opened the door and stepped through.

“Shut up mud boy, you’re hardly a civilian.”

He nodded absently, only half paying attention to the conversation, the other half of his mind drinking in every detail of her, from how she walked to the thin layer of sweat that covered her exposed skin.

He’s inexcusably glad that she doesn’t turn around as they walk up to her apartment, because this is something he can’t explain himself out of, especially to himself.

Her apartment is on the third floor of the complex. Nothing sets it out from the rest of the doors that line the corridors. He makes a mental note of the number, _just in case something goes wrong while I’m here_ ¸ he tells himself.

As he ducks through the doorway, she grimaces.

“Sorry about the mess, I don’t tend to have visitors.”

He doesn’t see what she means until he steps from the entryway into the first room, which happens to be a lounge. There’s junk food packets strewn across surfaces, with more than a couple empty mugs dotted about, and articles of clothing thrown over the sides of a futon and multiple chairs.

He shrugs and steps forward, into the centre of the room.

“Fancy a tour?” she offers, eyes glinting in that way that makes his stomach flip.

“Lead on.” He says, smiling. He had forgotten how refreshing she was to be around.

She throws her bag down onto the lone futon that isn’t covered in some mess or other, before dragging him through a doorway which he only just manages to duck through, into what is presumably the kitchen. The counters are surprisingly tidy compared to the living room, but he barely notices because he’s paying attention to the way her hand feels in his. She hasn’t let go yet, but whether that’s because she doesn’t realise she’s still holding on, or because she doesn’t want to let go as much as he does, he couldn’t tell you.

She slips her hand out of his, which drags him back to the present, and starts pointing out appliances; microwave, fridge, oven, stove, etc. Artemis listens to it all, filing it away for later. He’d have to find out how to use a _microwave_. He’d have to get used to not having a Michelin trained chef at hand.

He smiled. She was happy and it was infectious.

He thought about bringing it up but decided to wait till after the tour was over.

The next stop was brief but necessary. The sink and toilet were pretty straightforward, but there were no markings on the shower handle. Artemis, being used to the most modern technology, hadn’t used a shower with a handle before, and he stood there, flummoxed, as Holly gleefully explained how to use it. Normally, he might have been annoyed at her efforts to teach him, citing that “Holly, I have 5 PhDs, I’m sure I can work a simple shower”, but he decided to let her go with it. She was enjoying it after all.

She led him back into the lounge and gestured towards a door opposite the one they had just walked through.

“That leads to my bedroom, so if you get scared during the night, you know where to find me.”

He blinked slowly, before realising that it had been a jibe and not an invitation. He turned red at what he had thought she’d meant, but thankfully she had already turned around.

“Wow, I should really clean up some time.” She said, before shrugging and pointing at the futon. “You fine sleeping there mud boy, or do you need a hundred mattresses and a pea?”

Artemis was about to mention that he was, in fact, not a princess but a millionaire, but he thought better of it.

“It’ll be fine, thank you Holly. And you’re sure it’s no problem that I’m staying here?”

She rolled her eyes.

“You’re not getting out of this one that easily Artemis. You are going to these last sessions.”

He sighed. “I know, I know.”

She jokingly punched him in the shoulder. It hurt more than he thought it would.

“Anyways, I’m off to have a shower. Try not to break anything.”

He made a half thought through reply, his mind too busy imagining a certain elf in a shower just a room away from him.

She walked into the bathroom, and he dropped his bag in front of the futon. He looked around the room, surveying it. How could she live in such a mess? How did she find anything? The dining table that sat in the middle of the room was layered with rubbish, old plates, and ready meal packets, with clothes draped over the side.

He absently started picking clothe sup off the table, folding them into neat piles and placing them by her bedroom door; t-shirts on the left, then jackets and other assorted outerwear, followed by trousers and the few pairs of shorts she owned.

Once he’d managed to stack all the clothes he could find in the room, he went searching in the kitchen for a bag to put all the rubbish into. It took him a minute, and if anyone asked, he’d refuse to admit that he had looked under the sink last, but he did find a whole line of them.

He worked methodically, from the right to the left of the room. Clearing the dining table and the few chairs around it, then moving onto the pair of armchairs that sat opposite what he assumed was a fairy television, and then cleaning up the coffee table that sat in front of his temporary bed.

As he stood up from cleaning the short table, tying the top of the bag into a knot, he saw Holly leaning in the doorway to the shower, wet hair hanging just in front of her face. She hadn’t had it shaved recently, and it hung low in front of one of her eyes, but he could see that the small smile she wore was genuine.

He went red, after realising that he hadn’t asked permission and had just started cleaning her flat without reason and he was in the midst of formulating an apology when she laughed, and then he forgot everything he was about to say.

“Artemis, you look like you’ve just been caught robbing me.” Her smile grew, and he realised she was making fun of him. His face grew a brighter shade of red.

He managed to mumble a “Sorry” before he cast his gaze down, not wanting her to see the bright shade of red he’d gone.

Hearing movement, he looked up, and saw her gathering her neatly stacked garments, still smiling. She looked up and met his gaze.

She walked over, clothes in her arms, and hugged him briefly, before walking into her room.

“Thanks Arty.”

And then she was behind a closed door, and he was left with the smell of cinnamon and a racing mind.

********

A/N: Wow, this one’s a longer one than most of the others, and it came out quicker. To be honest, this one is one that had been in my head for a while now. I didn’t plan on Kelp even appearing until I started writing, so let me know your thoughts on that. As to the comments on the last chapter.

 **MagnetaAvocado:** Thanks for the compliment. And as far as Artemis not being a good liar, you’re correct, I did mean to himself. I’ll make sure to go back and specify that. Personally, I do also think that Holly can see through most of his lies by TLG, or at least knows when he’s lying, so I’ll probably use that later on. Thanks again for all the comments.

 **Lion01:** Thanks again for the compliment. I did feel the need to apologise then, because I’d said two weeks between chapters, but that was roughly four, but hey, I guess this makes up for it. I do like the current title, but I personally think that it fits a fic that focuses more on Artemis’ PTSD than this one will. This is first and foremost, a Hartemis fic, and the PTSD was just because I don’t think even Artemis could die and come through it unscathed. Regardless, thanks again for the comments, they always help motivate me.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading it, and please do review and comment, any criticism or advice is welcome, I’m far from perfect.

-Revan_yz


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